Blogging for my job: Netvantage Marketing. Similar to my post on Facebook's announcement, revamped for them: http://www.netvantagemarketing.com/blog.
Mean Girls, Bullies, and Bitches That Hit You In The Face: A Tutorial On How To Deal With Mean Girls
Haters will always hate. Players will always play. And me? Well I can always be counted on to get the last word--or at least profit from other people’s mean-spirited shenanigans in a totally self-serving, Jon-Stewart-Show kind of way.
Facebook and Break-ups: It Is What It Is.
Break-ups suck for all parties involved. It really doesn’t matter whether you are the the dumpee or the dumper. You can be the cheater, the liar, or the naïve one. You can participate in the “mutual break-up” which we all know is a sham. The heartbreaker or the heartbroken. When dealing with break-ups, God is great, beer is good, and people are batshit crazy.
When Parents Facebook Chat
Let me premise this by saying my mother isn’t illiterate. Nor is she is technologically challenged. In fact, she’s a pretty smart lady. When I was younger, she could be counted on to solve our computer calamities, fumble around with our entertainment system until it blared backstreet boys, and was the only person who knew how to change the batteries in my Furby.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Top 3 Things That I Was Expecting Facebook to Announce Today
Mark Zuckerberg invited the press to the Facebook offices in Palo Alto, California earlier today to make what was promised to be a significant announcement. I watched the first half of it streamed live on Facebook. Between the "Um"s, long awkward pauses, and technical difficulities, there was mention of being able to download your Facebook profile information, something about groups and group chat, and mumbling about a new dashboard. YAWN. Where was the ultra-cool, life-altering announcement I had been assured? Why couldn't you have just thrown that up on the Facebook Blog as per usual instead of luring me into believing you were packing up and moving to Pandora to live amongst the blue people? Here are the Top 3 Things I Was Expecting (Hoping, Wishing, Praying) Facebook Would Announce Today:
- Ban ugly people. Unfortunate looking people are the dandelions of a well-manicured social network. The elimination of this demographic of eyesores will improve users’ overall Facebook experience and boost the self-confidence of those who are invited to stay.
- Colonize Mars. Facebook is BIG. It is entirely too much of a monstrosity for Earth alone. Also, Mark has expressed that he would thoroughly enjoy having his own planet to populate with people that haven’t seen the Social Network and that will gladly prance around in his “F-you” flip-flops.
- “Facebook”, The Movie. A film following the life of founder Mark Zuckerberg during his Harvard years and the invention of Facebook. Oh, what's that you say?
Group chat wouldn't be earth shattering to me either, but perhaps others will utilize it for team projects or to gather a whole heard of their friends together to gossip. Sounds more like a glorified AOL chatroom than anything innovative, Mark. Also, in reference to using Facebook for professional or educational team projects, it seems to me that individuals will most likely turn to Google Wave and Google Docs for Google's superior group editing and sharing options. Finally, the ability to download your Facebook profile is nifty I suppose, but worthy of a press conference? Meh.
Get it together Zuckerberg. We know you enjoy your delicate face plastered all over everything, but that was a piss poor "Mark Zuckerberg Production" at best.
This has been a Hollywood Row Production.
