Friday, March 18, 2011

Yo Ke$ha, Lemme Borrow That Glitter Gun.


I'm sure many readers will be confused as to how I can go from pondering Google's search algorithm to contemplating Ke$ha's awesomeness, but I don't care. I admire Ke$ha purely for the fact she gets compensated to roll around in glitter and sparkly bits. I boast of being sequin savvy, but truth be told my passion lies with all things that shimmer. In short, Ke$ha's gig is my dream career minus all the media buzz surrounding her allegedly nude photos and tendency to shower infrequently. Despite being crowned as number one on the Billboard Top 100 for the longest period of time for a female artist since 1977, Ke$ha has received her share of flak for her "garage-chic" threads and less than squeaky clean image. Whatever the haters may spew about the girl, I for one appreciate ke$ha's fun-spirited, rocker, occasionally walk of shame-esque duds. And let's be honest, at the end of the day, the girl can write a hell of a catchy song. Ke$ha is a hit-maker. Call her what you may, this chick has proved she is here to stay in some form; whether it be as a producer, song-writer, or singer. In a recent Vanity Fair article on the glitter gal, the usually forthcoming Eric Spitznagel summed it up for us:

You can dismiss it as juvenile trash, and as someone who didn’t have any reason or desire to listen to Ke$ha’s music prior to this interview, I might have agreed with you. But in hindsight, I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. If it’s any consolation, I was wrong too. If her beautifully clumsy poetry doesn’t make you smile even a little bit, you’re taking life way too seriously.

So, here my 5 reasons (exluding her addictive tunes) ke$ha is the bomb no matter what the f*** her haters say:

1. She promotes safe sex. 
Ke$ha recently started distributing condoms donning her face at her shows. Franky, I think this is fantastic.

2. There is absolutely no Ke$ha song that doesn't make you want to dance. 
I. love. dancing. Let's just stand in a circle around our shoes and our pocketbooks. And lets just dance. And if guys come near us we'll tazer them.

3. Lyrical genius
Anyone who can fit the followings lyrics into a song that you can happily sing along with pretty much rocks my world:

"But you cry about this / and whine about that / when you grow a pair / you can call me back / And no, I don't want to see your mangina"  or  "I think you're hot / I think you're cool / you're the kind of boy I'd chase in school / but now that I'm famous / you're up my anus / now I'm going to eat you fool" or "your little heart goes pitter patter / i want your liver on a platter." 

 4.  Ke$ha Spends More on Glitter Every Month Than Most People Spend on Rent

Holy crap! I would piss my pants if I had the opportunity to get my hands on amount of sparkly bits each month.  I often fantasize about making enough money to shoot glitter at people out of a glitter gun. Everyday. For the rest of my life. I normally dream up Halloween costumes that allow me to toss glitter at people. Think Tinkerbell. Unicorns. Mystical beings. 
This is truly #winning.

5. She refuses to apologize.
You know you're doing something right when other peoples' worlds revolve around trashing your success. No reason to apologize for other peoples' hate issues.

So let the ke$ha bashing begin. Why should I loathe ke$ha like the rest of the planet? Only Valid reasons accepted.



0 comments:

Share

Twitter Delicious Facebook Digg Stumbleupon Favorites